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Example: In Hong Kong, permanent residents are entitled to use public hospitals at a discounted rate.
A factual statement /
A broad statement /
An announcement /
An immeasurable claim
Note: There is nothing to argue here. We need to improve the ‘claim’ of the thesis statement by adding a point of view / an interpretation.
- Example: Nature is a huge area for genetic research.
A factual statement /
A broad statement /
An announcement /
An immeasurable claim
Note: “nature” is too broad to be discussed. Sometimes, we need to improve the ‘claim’ but sometimes we need to improve the ‘context’ of the thesis statement. The improvement could be done by narrowing down the thesis or the context.
- Example: This essay is going to explore the problems related to modern food technology.
A factual statement /
A broad statement /
An announcement /
An immeasurable claim
Note: This thesis statement is trying to ‘announce’ what the writer is going to mention instead of the writer’s viewpoint.
- Example: Mobile phones are important in today’s society.
A factual statement /
A broad statement /
An announcement /
An immeasurable claim
Note: Importance is difficult to objectively measure. We need to improve the ‘claim’ of the thesis statement by using an adjective that could be objectively measured, such as ‘essential tools of communication’.